Early on, a close friend allowed me the time and space to process my husband’s new illness. She and I are both in healthcare and both had experience working with patients who had brain tumors. The gravity of the diagnosis was not lost on us. She cried with me and went through the “what ifs” with me. Then, supported me as I tried to work, support my husband and raise our little girl as if our world had not been derailed. Over the years, I would often open my front door to a donut or some small token to brighten my day left by her. But not long after an evening of going through the “what ifs” she came over and gave me a neoprene bracelet which said “WE CAN DO HARD THINGS” on one side and decoration on the other. I began wearing it each day and when my brain went to not so good places I would look at it, take a deep breath and remember that no matter what we can do this. I mean we had no option, right???
About this same time, I had a colleague who saw my husband and I in the lobby of the hospital and knew by the look on my husband’s face something was awry. He inquired on how I was doing. I confided in him and he responded with, “will you let me help you?” Anyone who knows me, knows I’m not good at asking or accepting help, but I knew I needed it. He spent the next several months talking with me once a week. He used his amazing skills as a therapist to help me figure out how to cope, navigate talking with our daughter and gave me a safe space to feel my emotions. One of the most valuable lessons I learned from this friend was how to live in the moment. No one knows what is truly around the corner so just enjoy each day we have together.
Fast-forward to the Spring of 2018, about 6 months post-diagnosis. We have now been through surgery, simultaneous radiation and chemo, and now chemo every 23 days. Our neighborhood had its annual Spring Fling and we had several friends over for the event. I snuck away with a friend to shop the jewelry booths and came across a local artist who had a simple, but beautiful brass bracelet stamped with ” Love Today”. It was how I learned to survive the past 7 months summed up in two simple words. I bought it and still wear it on a regular basis. When I get ahead of myself worrying about the future or trying to plan too much I look down, take a deep breath and remind myself to just love the day I am in to its fullest.
